What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
