help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
