He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
