I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize