Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize