I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
