Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
