I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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