she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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