My room smells like vodka and shame
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
