And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
