apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
