It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
