He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Terrible idea I love it
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
