He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
