3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
