We're facebook friends in real life
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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