this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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