i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
