Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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