Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
