I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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