I feel like abortions should bother me more
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
