Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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