bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
