I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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