Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize