So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
