I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
