Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
