My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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