my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
