Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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