Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
