she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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