We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
