The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
areolas are like halos for boobs.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dick very happy bro
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
