Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
