What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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