it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
