That's intense
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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