my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
