Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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