We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
