Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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