Michael Bay diarrhea
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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