Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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