So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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