problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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