My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm both gender and math confused
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
