So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
