Already got asked if we're dating
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize