We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
