No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
