why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
