I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
