whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
