Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
