I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
